aish. stressed

back again. this is truly therapeutic, i swear. coming here whenever i feel this urge to voice something out and yet don't know who to talk to. seems recently my problems are largely school related. i've lagged behind, and still unable to catch up, and my solution once again is to hide behind my protective wall and pretend. i know there's something wrong with such a mentality, for it is probably of little use, and of no help to me. and yet i can't seem to make myself come out. my response is to retreat. and i'm comfortable with it... until the two voices in my head argue, and i feel bad for such a decision. i keep thinking, its only one class, its useless, its only 1% of my final grade, its only an ungraded practice... and i hate this side of me :(