today i just woke up, looked in the mirror, and decided, enough is enough, i just have to quit, no prior notice and all... and that is exactly what i did. horrible of me i know, but somehow guilt is not enough motivation for me to get my fat ass off this computer seat and to work. i'm sick of shuttles, sick of waking up early, and mostly, sick of the fact that the most brain stimulating task i do there is try to decipher if some dude was trying to write an 'a' or an 'e' when spelling his name. it's the job of robots, and i really don't want to do that anymore. besides, everyday i go to work, and i think of the many other things i have or want to do but can't because this stupid job is taking up all my time, and i start thinking, is the $48 a day worth it as compared to my happiness and well-being? is my time really only worth $48? i have neglected so many things the past few weeks -- especially my business, which in itself is a work in progress and requires my time the most; and i have gone off to do things that i don't even want to do that much. i come home everyday just itching to make something, but am really too tired to do much. so i've decided to just call an end to it. i initially wanted to earn the money to put back into the business and pay off some 'debts', but wth, it is really not worth it if i waste so much time for that bit of money and end up not having set up my business right? true, i like typing, and i'm good at it, but 8 hours of it EVERYDAY just about does me in. the problem for me, is that stupid 200 sheet work target. we are supposed to complete that within 8 hours, but i finish within 4 or 5, and then wonder if i should do more, or just slowly try to waste the time away. but really, if you were to pay me by the amount of work i complete, and not by the number of hours i work, i would be happier. why make me sit there and waste time. just let me leave early since i've finished my work right? but no... i have to sit there idly and wait for the hours to pass by. when i complained about this to my sister, she said for me to just do the work slowly the entire day, but i really can't! if i type i just have to type fast, and trying to force myself to type like 2 words a minute is really very very difficult for me. so it was actually good that i quit right. if i hadn't decided that today, i probably would have been sitting there everyday feeling unhappy and THINKING of quitting. lol. who am i trying to convince.. me? or you.. hee.
